Me: …I will ever be a productive member of society again? You know, like when I taught school or when I was a children’s pastor. Will that ever happen for me again?”
Therapist: “Absolutely! God has incredible things He wants you to do. You haven’t seen nuttin’ yet!”
Me: “Really? Because I feel like I barely make it through the day some weeks. Other weeks, I come to therapy 3x; I’m a mess. How do you know for sure?”
Therapist: “I don’t know for sure. But what I do know is, He brought you this far. He’s healed so many areas of your life. You are changing from the inside out; realizing the person He created you to be all along.”
Me: “Oh, okay. But I want to be done with all this, better, doing life like “normal” people.
Therapist: “You are better; I wish you could see from my vantage point, just how much. You have inspired and taught me a lot, you know. About the strength and power of God and how He is so willing to handle even the smallest detail to increase our faith; about resilience through your pain that shows your trust in Him; about even when you don’t feel like going on with life, work, running, etc., you do; and shall I add this? That you know how to do most everything better than the rest of us. How does that happen?” 😉
Me: (tears running down my face) “Is that what you really see?
Me: “Thank you, it was hard to take all that in, hold it as my own, and acknowledge it as truth. I am very blessed.”
This is how a recent conversation with my therapist went. It is amazing how we view ourselves so differently, compared to how other’s see us. I’m grateful for the people in my life, like my therapist, who speak hope, encouragement and truth.
Feeling blessed, in the midst of much pain and discomfort. It’s an anniversary month for my teenage part, who endured painful abuse. We will keep fighting because in the end, we have won the battle.
I hope this finds you all well. I have been absent for some time. I think about you so often, and praying for strength and courage for daily battles you are fighting to win!