Whew, long sessions wear me out!

Friday therapy is my long one, and today I was literally “gone” for 2hrs and 45min.  My teenager, who has been gone, did all the talking.  There was 15min. left when I “came back” to present.  It is wearisome work. I was exhausted, had one of those emotional headaches, and wanted to sleep. I heard about half of what was said, I think.  The information I did get, I’m pretty sure was not over 2 hrs. worth, hmmm….”Lucy, you got some splainin’ to do!”

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Anyway, all humor aside, it was good and very productive.  She is my part that engages in multiple addictive/harmful behaviors.  She has made me aware of her alcohol and cigs stash, showed me what she uses to cut, and we talked about the bulimia.  I can’t imagine trying to stop all that at once, so it will require patience and grace, lots of grace.  I believe in her 100%, she is a fighter, and we are going to do it together.

My therapist (D) spent a significant amount of time with her on the topic support. Learning to depend on others, letting her people know when she is struggling, communicating with me, journaling, and that she could always text D, if needed.  It isn’t different than any other ‘outside person’, we all need accountability and support.  We need love not judgment, care not criticism, encouragement not put-downs.

My husband has been a strong support for me and has been there for “his girls”, as he calls them.  He can hug and rock them when they need, where I can’t wrap my arms around myself, like I want to be held.  I am truly blessed by his unconditional love for all of us!

Looking forward to progress, even if it is slow, or stalled at times.  One day at a time; and we can always hit “Restart” at any moment.

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4 thoughts on “Whew, long sessions wear me out!

  1. Wow, being gone for that long and then coming back and not knowing everything that was discussed. Is it hard for you to not receive as much time when other parts receive time? Was the teen receptive to seeking support? This sounds like a really tough but fruitful session.

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    1. Yes, it is difficult for me not knowing. Usually, my therapist stops with enough time for discussion. However, that took a long time to get there. I (my part) would end up drinking somewhere or being dissociated for the rest of the day. Lots of time loss on those days. We had to come up with a safety plan, and it has been successful since. I have 2 teens, the first one is my protector, and she is hard core, not trusting, and hates being vulnerable. My T spent lots of time earning her trust, getting on her level, and then when trust was established, my teen walked through her abuse. It took several sessions bc she hated to cry or show emotions. This last teen, we’ve been working with the longest. She has the worst of the abuse, and all the addictive behaviors. I believe if therapists don’t know how to deal specifically with parts, it takes much longer. Both my teens like my T, but they are still teenagers. They act out, and rebel. I have committed to intense work, I get angry, sad, isolated, and once a month want to quit therapy. 🙂 I start to doubt having DID, but the truth is, it is hard work and I can’t give up. I experienced the most progress this past year, in fact my T says, she’s never had a client work so hard and persevere through so much. I appreciate it, and yet at times I get angry at her for stupid stuff. Truth is, no one is perfect, and being a therapist to someone who has parts is difficult and taxing work. She is a strong woman! And I am grateful!!

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      1. Thank you for sharing all of that – you are so brave for going there. I mean that, sincerely. I can’t really imagine not knowing what happens in my therapy sessions, and then being able to trust my therapist. Incredible depth of faith.

        Liked by 1 person

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