Well, it’s been two Sunday’s in a row that I haven’t cried! Maybe I needed to simply tell the world a long time ago, and it would have stopped. The problem is I don’t know what I did or didn’t do to not cry. It’s the DID roller coaster…I’m always learning.
Honestly, I can count on one hand, for 42 years, how many times I’ve cried. These last 5 years have been a tear-fest! Am I the only one this has happened too? It’s like the dam broke and the tears began to flow. When my part, Cindy, emerged, it was nonstop tears. She held all the emotions from the trauma/abuse. She has taught me a lot about emotions, but I still don’t handle them well. Out of the blue, I will start crying, for no reason it seems.
I know that tears are healing, and it’s important to express how I’m feeling. There is no shame in the tears, but I’ve been told my whole life- “You can’t cry”, “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about”, “Only babies cry”, etc. This will be something to embrace as I walk this journey with DID.